+ 'last week i was on a USO tour in europe' craig ferguson shares, 'USO, its a great organization, God bless em. what USO does is send celebrities to perform for the troops. when they run out of celebrities, they send me! 'don't our troops suffer enough?' 'no, send ferguson!' anyway, the first stop was kosovo. its very close to serbia. its so close in fact, that the serbians think its theirs, thats kind of where the problems begin... anyway, i'm sure parts of the former yogoslovia are very beautiful, but where we were, camp bondsteel, may not be the one they want to promote in the future. the first thing you notice when you drive in from the airport to the base, theres this law in kosovo that you don't have to pay taxes on a building if its not finished- so none of the buildings are finished, none of them! everything is under construction all the time- its like cher for miles! and the USO, a very dignified and great organization, they have a very tough rule: you cannot make fun fo the local environment. and i'm thinking 'well, this is unfair!' i mean, i am a professional comedian, not a very good one but a professional, i am driving through half built villages filled with vampire counts, where the whole town shares one bushy eyebrow, and i can't make fun of them?!? thats like inviting clinton to hooters and telling him 'only touch the food, bill!'.'
- eric idle

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