+ craig ferguson starts by saying that he spent some time this morning getting ready and brushing his teeth 'i know, ive gone very american!' and while looking in the mirror he realizes that his eyebrows are huge and hes looking a bit like sam the eagle muppet.
oh it is a sad day indeed, craig announces that he has fired his old sidekick davis! the travesty! im sorry to hear it, davis, you will be sorely missed.
today is april fools day and craig admits his dislike for the holiday, claiming 'on april fools everyone trys to be funny, its amateur night!' and he remembers an old april fools joke played by the bbc where they ran a documentary about spaghetti farms and how they would harvest the pasta from the trees- and tons of people believed it and called into the television station asking where they could get one of them.
+ craig had a bit of a problem with his mic and (jokingly) throws a fit 'aw, the show is ruined! no, actually that happened three years ago when i started working here...'
+ after a few off color jokes, craig realizes that hes been being naughty, but claims 'i dont want to do dirty stuff, but the owner of cbs, ron cbs, came to my office and told me i should...'
= your lips, your lips. these guys actually taped their segment of the show while i was there, so i got to see this part live. too bad they sucked.

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