+ the video music awards were on mtv, craig ferguson tells us, 'i love the mtv cause im into the latest music- heuy lewis, devo, hermans hermits...' 'ill tell you how out of touch with music i am: i recognized more music execs in the audience than musicians on stage!'
+ 'bangkok dangerous comes out today,' craig shares, 'i like nicholas cage, but someone needs to tell him he'll never make a better movie than 'ghost rider'. that was a great movie- in it he played a skeleton on fire- and he nailed it! i cant believe he didnt win an oscar for that. he did win one though for 'leaving las vegas'. i hated that movie- and im a drunk! he played a fall down drunk and the movie was crap. listen, im an alcoholic and ive been drunk all over the world, and this movie did not show the hilarious and joyful side of alcohol. it was all miserable- come on!'
+ 'im so glad the political conventions are over' craig shares, 'but everyone is still talking about sarah palins speech. a lot of commentators on the intergoogles and blogwebs and everything are talking about her hairstyle. theyre saying its about 20 years out of date, im thinking for the mccain ticket, twenty years out of date is kind of cutting edge.'
+ craig ferguson continues to talk about the time he showed a video of alaska governor sarah palin welcoming him as an honorary citizen of her state. 'back before when we showed that video she was willing to come on the show, but i turned her down. no thanks, weve already got sanjiah booked. we want someone whos got some real staying power... oh, i feel quite the fool!'
+ john mccain has picked a running mate and craig ferguson is taking credit. back when craig was trying to get honorary citizenship in every city in america he would often get letters from different city or state leaders granting him honorary citizenship. one of the leaders who responded- with video no less! was the governor of alaska- sarah palin! criag figures that john mccain must have seen that episode and thats what lead to him picking her. maybe.
+ its labor day, and craig ferguson is ready to celebrate. 'i did many american things: i brushed my teeth, watched some nascar, went outside to grill my weiner. then i turned on the barbeque grill...'
in the latest installment of 'the rather late programme with prince charles', where craig ferguson dresses up as prince charles as a late night talk show host, they had a jingle of its own! criag has always read email on his show, which starts with a little jingle. prince charles reads parchments in this skit, and this time when he asked if there was time to read a parchment there was a little jingle saying 'of course theres time for a parchment!' it seemed that craig himself was a bit surprised by this! he exclaimed, after the jingle, 'oh, i didnt even know we had one of those!', and proceeded with the skit.
craig ferguson regularly includes a segment where he dresses up as prince charles, complete with comb over wig, big ears, bad false teeth, and a scepter.
+ he must be feeling like he is a prison camp as he waits for his two weeks off, because craig ferguson starts off the show laying on his desk, dressed in a tank top with dog tags. a light circles around him simulating helicopter blades as he thinks to himself how war is hell, and this show is starting to feel like war.
yet another version of the 'email time' jingle (how many of them can they come up with?!?). this time the musical genre is german polka music! little emails lift a mug of beer and sing their scottish drinking song as little craig figures dance around in their lederhosen outfits.
+ 'my olympic ban still isnt working,' craig ferguson tells us, 'ive been watching three hours every night! i cant play by your rules man. i guess their my rules... you dont know me!' finally craig admits to his love: 'i love the olympics- i cant stay away! i could ride that pommel horse all night!'
+ 'its day three of my olympic boycott and its going very well,' says craig ferguson, 'i have, ive boycotted it, im having no part in the chinese government! i havent watched a minute of it. except for the three hours i watched last night, and every night since it started... i ahve to keep my eye on the enemy: damn you michael phelps, you have breast stroked your way into my heart!'
+ despite craig fergusons olympics boycott, all he does it talk about it! tonight he discusses swimming. 'swimmers shave their entire body to swim faster,' he shares, 'during practices some swimmers wear stockings, they say its to help build endurance because it increases the drag. well, yeah! put on a little sun dress and some high heels too and it will really increase the drag!'
i must say, i have been a bit surprised by craig fergusons guest list lately. it seems that he might be getting more credibility because his guests have certainly started getting more A list then usual. the big stars usually go to dave or jay, but it seems recently that they have been appearing on craig too! will ferrel, jack black, robert downey jr. these are bigger names that craig is used to.
+ 'heres something you might not know about the olympics,' craig ferguson tells us, 'i hate them. dont get me wrong, i love sports. i like real sports like baseball, football, soccer, even rugby... well, thats not a real sport, thats just violence with a ball. the olympics has a lot of stuff going on that has nothing to do with sports, if you ask me. running around with a streamer is not a sport, its a parade!'
+ marijuana seems to be the topic of the night. craig ferguson shares a story of a time, in his twenties, when he and a friend enjoyed an 'herbal cigarette' and got really hungry and poured a whole huge box of bran flakes into a big bowl and just dug in. while shoveling in the cereal his friend freaks out and runs out of the room. craig looks down and finds what his friend saw: a dead wasp in the bowl! he said that he has never been more scared in his life- and ran out of the room screaming too!
+ ah, finally things are back to normal. craig ferguson talks about going to the eye doctor because he needed new glasses. he tells us that the experience was awful and complains about the really crappy service, 'im not going to say what company it is, but it rhymes with nenscrafters...'
another lost episode due to the power outage, fortunately though, it is the last one missed.
another episode missed due to lack of power, thanks power company...
unfortunately, due to the effects of 'stormwatch: powerless! '08', i was unable to watch this episode.
+ 'mummy 3: tomb of the dragon emperor' came out today, and craig ferguson talks about his love for egyptian history. 
craig ferguson has another new email song. this time it is done in the style of a childrens lullaby, with craigs head on all the little children singing. the best part is that craigs face is also the man in the moon!
+ craig ferguson declared that he wants a farm. he says he will start with a cow, then get pigs. 'i love pigs, they are very smart animals, not smart enough to know not to be delicious, but theyre very smart. you know what i wouldnt have on my farm though is sheep, because there is s scottish sheep stereotype. it is filthy, hurtful, and it is a stereotype and i dont want to perpetuate it. plus i dont trust myself around sheep... those gorgeous wooly bitches...'
+ there was a big earthquake yesterday, craig ferguson shares, 'its actually quite nice the day after something like that, people come together after a natural disaster like an earthquake, or a fire, or an eddie murphy movie. people are much nicer to each other, come on, we can get through this...'
+ today there was an earthquake in los angeles, craig ferguson informs us.
+ today marks the beginning of 'shark week', craig ferguson early shares.
+ craig ferguson reminds us that the x-files movie is coming out today. he talks about david duchovny, remembering that he was craigs first guest on when he took over the show. 'he smells like ranch dressing...'
+ today is national tequila day, craig ferguson tells us, 'that means tomorrow is national wake up in a dumpster day!' craig then begins discussing what is going on with the presidential candidates, 'obama was in germany and 100,000 people showed up. there was so much shouting and screaming that france surrendered just in case...'
+ there is a new season of 'mindfreak' on, craig fergsuon informs us. 'that chris angel sure wears a lot of make up, huh?' graig admits that he used to wear make up too, to look like a punk rocker back in the day, 'i try to wear it now, and i just look like an ugly woman.' he asks 'why does chris angel wear it? because it makes him mysterious... just think about it, whats the most mysterious animal? a panda. trust me...'
a new email time jingle showed up this week, this time in the style of indian music. it even featured craig ferguson as the indian god with 8 arms. craig laughed at it and claimed hes going all 'boolywood' on us...
+ there is a new show on lifetime called 'how to look good naked', and craig ferguson has a ball cracking jokes about it.
+ with obama on his middle east trip, mccain is complaining about the media only covering him, craig ferguson tells us, 'ive got a solution to all this mud slinging that makes everyone happy: president batman!'
+ with the new batman movie coming out, craig ferguson is quite excited, mostly due to the great cast. 'its got michael caine, who i always love. its got morgan freeman, and hes great. he makes every movie he is in worth watching. he narrated that 'march of the penguins' movie. that movie made a ton of money, because penguins are interesting? i think not. no one gives a rats ass about penguins. penguins? theyre like cold pigeons.'
+ the gong show is back, craig ferguson tells us. 'by the way, never trust a rock band that has a gong behind the drum kit, because it means your in for a very bad drum solo. i always wondered, if you are a gong player do you have to carry it around in a big gong case? like, people on the train asking 'so, what instrument do you play?' oh, guess. the giant pancake...' 
+ craig ferguson walks on the stage, sits at his desk, and addresses the audience in a very serious manner: 'my fellow americans, our long national nightmare is over. i shaved off my mustache. dont you ooh me, you bastards. ive never been so hated in my life! ive been divorced twice and i've never met the kind of bitterness ive got for trying to grow a mustache!' 
just a quick observation: craig fergusons sound effect machine is gone! ever since craig has first been on the air he has had a little machine next to his desk that he would often press buttons on, which made different sound effects. most often he would use this during a return back from a commercial, saying 'welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys' and then play a monkey sound, or he would say we were naughty and use the whip cracking sound. usually he would use several back to back. another important function was that he used to press a button that would play a mooing sound at the end of his show and say 'well, thats the cow of time, looks like its time to go. good night everybody!' but now with the recent change to craig ending with a show summary he hasnt been doing the cow of time for a while now. he must have figured that it was an opportunity to loose some of the clutter. ill miss some of the sound gags, but its also good that craig is always changing things ups and trying to stay fresh.
+ what will we learn on the show tonight, craig? craig ferguson informs us that 'we will learn what people think of the mustache, including my mother. and prince charles will be stopping by, ive got a sneaking suspicion that hes growing a mustache too!
in honor of 'vegas week' this week, craig ferguson unveiled a new vegas email jingle. there already was an email time jingle with a vegas theme, but that one was done in the style of frank sinatra. this one is more of a vegas showgirls style jingle. even the silly paper cutout of craig singing has a mustache!
+ what will we learn on the show tonight craig? during this first segment before the theme song craig sits there with his hand covering his face. 'tonight we will learn what is under my hand. its dirty, its hairy, and it smells delicious...'
recently craig ferguson has added a new segment to his show. a couple months ago craig began to summarize the show after the last commercial break, asking what we had learned that night. mostly is was an excuse to revisit the jokes from the earlier.
+ today craig ferguson is celebrating because its mdagascars Independence day. he talks about the island and some information about it. 'there are many strange animals there, hissing cockroaches, lemurs, and an interior decorator who isnt gay.' 
+ three weeks ago craig ferguson gave up coffee. he shares that is was tough at first with the headaches, but now its great. 'although im going to need something to get cranky for the rants on this show now, cause im very upbeat. maybe i should get married again.' which is immediately followed by his uproarious laughter.
+ according to a new report, craig ferguson tells us, 'many in the netherlands think the world will end in 2012 because that is when the mayan calender ends.' craig goes on to mention that that is ridiculous, but then show a death clock graphic just in case. only 1639 days left!
+ craig ferguson mentions that there is a new family feud show on now. he remembered watching it growing up and it being the first time he had ever seen scottish people on tv, 'well, except for scotty on star trek...'
+ wimbledon is on this weekend, and craig ferguson does not spare us his opinion. 'i dont like tennis, its not a sport, its gay waving with equipment!'
+ 'the love guru' comes out today, craig ferguson says, 'and critics scammed it saying you need more than an accent and crappy wigs to make comedy. and i say no! that is not true!...'
+ the top ten new species list for 2008 has just been reveled, craig ferguson tells us. the rhino horn beetle was on the list. craig tells us 'people thought that a real rhino horn is thought of as an aphrodisiac. when europeans first discovered potatoes they thought raw potatoes were an aphrodisiac too. actually raw potatoes is a very serious syndrome you get from wearing damp trunks for too long...'
this is a segment that places larry king swinging on a vine dispensing wisdom. the latest in a line of strange juxtapositions of famous people and places, such as michael caine in space, and sean connery in a study telling stories of what happened on this day in his life. very random, but really quite funny!
+ on nbc there is a new celebrity circus show, craig ferguson mentions. 'i went to the circus as a child. they always had elephants in a circle and hawaii five-0 theme song. because when i think of elephants, i think of hawaii.'
+ the mars lander that they sent up has found a white powder on the surface of mars, craig ferguson comments, 'scientists are baffled, lindsey lohan hasnt been anywhere around mars!'