12-14-09

+ 'guess what happened to me over the weekend', craig ferguson asks, 'i'll tell you. so, i was in nashville friday night, doing a little show in nashville, very nice, country music, everyone very pleasant, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, country music, politeness. lovely. saturday morning i have an early flight to l.a., but there is no direct flight from nashville to la on saturday morning, so i had to get a connecting flight through houston texas. a perfectly normal thing to do, people do it all the time. i get there early and i go up to the desk, everyone's very nice, i'm on the plane, a very small plane. and i'm on the plane and i think 'this plane is busy, theres just too many people for this small place'. its ten past six in the morning. then the gate agent comes on 'the flight is over booked, someone has to get off, its over booked and over weight'. and i'm like 'tell me about it, that exactly what i'm like!' so they are asking around to get people off, and i think well, i've got to go to make my connecting flight, but the flight is taking a while, i'm never going to make it. i say 'ok, ill get off'. so i get off the plane, i think 'well, i've got to get to l.a.' i get off and go up to the ticket agent. i ask 'all right, just get me to l.a.' they say 'oh, thanks for doing that.' i went 'its allright, you over booked the flight though' 'yeah, we've been doing that a lot lately'. i talk with this guy and he says 'i can get you back to l.a. through st. louis'. i get the ticket and i see its a six hour layover in st. louis airport. and as much as i like the people of st. louis, six hours aint going to cut it for me. i decide you know what, i'm going to get a car and drive up to atlanta and see a buddy who lives there. now, as im walking away, the guy says 'hey, i love your show'. and im thinking 'he knows i'm on tv...' and he says 'hey, dont bad mouth us on tv!' oh, there's no way i would bad mouth you on tv, CONTINENTAL AIRLINES!!! anyway, i went to see my buddy, stayed in atlanta for the night, and then i flew home on a big comfortable plane operated by DELTA AIRLINES who were very very nice! your welcome airline industry!'

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