11-30-09

+ 'last friday was the busiest shopping day of the year', criag fergson shares, 'economists are saying that holiday sales are already below expectations, they are saying, but they havent yet counted the diamond ring tiger woods is going to have to buy his wife. he is in a lot of trouble, tiger. look, if your name is tiger, sooner or later you are going to get in trouble. you are not just going to play golf your whole life... anyway, heres the tiger woods situation: 2:00am friday, tiger's suv crashes into a fire hydrant and a tree. the police arrive, tiger is unconscious, his face is smashed up, and his wife is holding a golf club. now, people are speculating, the bloggers are going crazy, like 'shes holding a golf club, she hit him!' now wait, it doesnt mean that she hit him. think about it, in tiger woods' house golf clubs are everywhere, they do everything with a golf club. they cook with the golf clubs, they brush their hair with the golf clubs, 'honey, can you pass the meatballs?' with a golf club! and, if it was a domestic dispute, and he sees his wife coming up with a golf club, he'd probably be thinking 'oh, thats a terrible backswing, look how her elbow is sticking out!'.'
+ a sean connery holiday memory

No comments: