+ 'do i look tired to you?' craig ferguson asks, 'i tell ya, i feel tired. i had such a long weekend, the weekend was so long, even though yesterday was monday and today's tuesday, cause i think i've seen the twilight movie like fifty times! nope. still havent seen it. cant do it. cant do it. trying to connect with popular culture, but just cant give a rats ass about it. trying to. now, i know that a lot of you are like 'well craig, it doesnt matter, this is america, you dont have to be into twilight.' i know you dont have to, but i have to, its my job. you know, i have to go 'hey, our next guest is from the twilight movie, hey!' ugh. and then on the tv they have 'the vampire diaries'. now, what kind of fucking vampire keeps a diary?!? 'dear diary, does dracula like me, or like me?' what happened? i know i've been complaining about this too long now, i've been complaining about the trendiness of vampires. you know it started with harry potter. i'll tell you why. hang on, i'll tell you why. soon.' craig tries to think on his feet, 'its because he's english. and thats a safe bet for me. and i'm scottish. so, if in doubt about who to blame, blame the english. thats what i always do. oh, look at the time, i've been talked way too long. well, i better stop and get to the commericals. commercials. you know who i blame for the commercials? harry potter.'

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