+ 'president obama's 9 day trip to asia is in full swing,' craig ferguson reports, 'he's visiting south korea, japan, china. the presidential trips like this require a lot of planning, the state department briefs the president, the air force clears the air space, the secret service leaves out dog food for joe biden. right now president obama is meeting with top chinese officials, and the american/chinese relationship has changed in the past couple years. we used to be the world's only super power, we would be standing head and shoulders above the other nations. we were like alec baldwin towering over all the other baldwins. oh steven and all the other baldwins, like corky, jermaine... thats actually quite accurate, isnt it, huh?'
- woody harrelson
* joe theismann