2008 emmys

craig ferguson presented an award on the 60th annual emmy awards show. he came out with brooke shields, they did a little banter back and forth, craig talked about how he was always interested through out brookes career and respected her as an actress and as a woman. brooke asked 'is that your hand on my butt?' 'yup, and it respects you a lot...'

political update

a new segment craig ferguson introduced is an overly long named political review called 'craig political update summary recap report round up'. after introducing it and showing the graphic he goes on to explain that it is designed to be a time to talk about political stuff and give it a judgement. he wanted a hammer of justice, so he pulls out a giant gavel, but apparently his prop guys werent sure if they heard him right, they thought maybe he asked for a ham of justice, so he pulls out a large piece of meat too. 'alright, i guess i can work with them both...'
then craig talks about the events going on lately in the political scene and ends with him hitting the ham with his gavel. funny, but not nearly as messy as gallagher!


+ it appears that craig ferguson has election fever, or so he tells us. he talks about the huge downturn on wall street recently. ' the times are so bad that the monopoly guy had to eat that little dog.' for no explainable reason, craig shares 'you know what i blame? ipods.'
+ craigs pollitical update summary recap report round up
- julie chen talks about big brother
- jason biggs, who just so happens to be completely drunk out of his mind...


+ 'abc just had a two hour special interview with sara palin', craig informs us, 'it was called 'extreme makeover: republican party edition'- move that bus!'
+ recently craig asked if he should put his earring back in. he used to wear it, but took it out a couple years ago. 'a guy can wear an earring until hes 40, then he has to take it out until hes 60, then he can put it back in. if you wear it after 40 it just looks like your trying too hard 'stop wearing your hat backwards, old man', but when your 60 you can put it back in because thats old enough not to care what everyone thinks about you.' after getting a few responses back and most of them saying that he should, he put it back in, which looked kind of funny because he put in a skull earring, which is stupid.
+ highlanders skit, which is basically just a ford commercial in disguise.
- sean william scott was supposed to be there, but it seems that he got stuck in traffic and wasnt able to make it, so craig had the staff member in charge of making sure guests arrive on time on instead as punishment. her name is lisa ammerman, and she hated every minute of it, telling us that she is not at all a fan of being in front of the camera. craig jokingly suggested, not so subtly, that she might not have to worry about it because she wont be coming back tomorrow...


+ 'this is not a great day for america.' craig reminds us. he briefly talks of the attacks 7 years ago, and explains that this will be a rather low key show, and craigs guest will me a family member.
criag says that kanye west recently got in to trouble when a paparazzi followed him. craig tells of a time when a paparazzi followed him, 'it wasnt very exciting, and the guy was actually kind of nice. 'i love your show craig!' he said, i cant really get mad at that can i?'
- lynn ferguson, craigs little sister


+ political campaigns are the theme for the night. craig ferguson explains 'this group of candidates cant be beat- purely for comedic reasons. youve got your grizzled old veteran whos trying to win one last campaign, the brash rookie who inspires millions, the soccer mom whos governor by day and naughty librarian by night, youve got biden, whos all... bideny...'
- alice cooper talks and sings (and gave craig a very silly hat)
+ dear aquaman


+ 'ive been having trouble sleeping,' craig ferguson admits, 'and i made a big mistake: i turned on the news- that scared me so bad i couldnt fall asleep'. 'there was a story about the north korean dictator kim jung ill missing, which got me nervous. i really shouldnt be watching cnn, because after the kim jung ill story, there was a report that made me even more nervous: its about a thing called the 'super collider'. its a thing that collides with other things. its super, apparently... its designed to analyze the big bang. it must be run by lady scientists, their not just happy with the big bang, they have to analyze it, talk about it, cuddle...'
+ dear aquaman
- russell brand my goodness, this guy was hilarious!!! i was cracking up the whole time, it was obvious that craig liked him too because he stayed for the rest of the show!


+ the video music awards were on mtv, craig ferguson tells us, 'i love the mtv cause im into the latest music- heuy lewis, devo, hermans hermits...' 'ill tell you how out of touch with music i am: i recognized more music execs in the audience than musicians on stage!'
- julie chen with the big brother update


+ 'bangkok dangerous comes out today,' craig shares, 'i like nicholas cage, but someone needs to tell him he'll never make a better movie than 'ghost rider'. that was a great movie- in it he played a skeleton on fire- and he nailed it! i cant believe he didnt win an oscar for that. he did win one though for 'leaving las vegas'. i hated that movie- and im a drunk! he played a fall down drunk and the movie was crap. listen, im an alcoholic and ive been drunk all over the world, and this movie did not show the hilarious and joyful side of alcohol. it was all miserable- come on!'
+ the rather late programme with prince charles
- kal penn
= gabe dixon band


+ 'im so glad the political conventions are over' craig shares, 'but everyone is still talking about sarah palins speech. a lot of commentators on the intergoogles and blogwebs and everything are talking about her hairstyle. theyre saying its about 20 years out of date, im thinking for the mccain ticket, twenty years out of date is kind of cutting edge.'
'now i think its ridiculous to focus on the hairstyle of a vice presidential candidate because its a woman. if it were a man they wouldnt be talking about hairstyle- its outrageous and sexist. what ever happened to the good old days when a woman was judged by her weight and her cooking?'
+ a segment where craig tells one of his interns to pick up some friends who are visiting and drive them around. basically this was just a commercial for the new ford flex.


+ craig ferguson continues to talk about the time he showed a video of alaska governor sarah palin welcoming him as an honorary citizen of her state. 'back before when we showed that video she was willing to come on the show, but i turned her down. no thanks, weve already got sanjiah booked. we want someone whos got some real staying power... oh, i feel quite the fool!'
+ fake interview with bush down in new orleans
- julie chen stops by to have craig talk to the people in the big brother house.
-maria bello


+ john mccain has picked a running mate and craig ferguson is taking credit. back when craig was trying to get honorary citizenship in every city in america he would often get letters from different city or state leaders granting him honorary citizenship. one of the leaders who responded- with video no less! was the governor of alaska- sarah palin! criag figures that john mccain must have seen that episode and thats what lead to him picking her. maybe.
craig also tries out a new catchphrase: 'it must be my imagination...' which i rather liked.
- nathan fillion. he is quite funny and has a couple really great lines about bears: 'bears are the sharks of the forest' and 'i just dont want my last thought being 'its eating my face!''


+ its labor day, and craig ferguson is ready to celebrate. 'i did many american things: i brushed my teeth, watched some nascar, went outside to grill my weiner. then i turned on the barbeque grill...'
this episode was recorded a couple weeks ago, before he went on his two week break, and craig makes many references to it being 'great to be back' jokingly.
+ an emailer asks an interesting question: does the road runner actually say 'beep beep', or is he swearing and is just being censored?
> jonathan winters. the classic comedian doesnt do a set, rather just talks with craig.

parchment time!

in the latest installment of 'the rather late programme with prince charles', where craig ferguson dresses up as prince charles as a late night talk show host, they had a jingle of its own! criag has always read email on his show, which starts with a little jingle. prince charles reads parchments in this skit, and this time when he asked if there was time to read a parchment there was a little jingle saying 'of course theres time for a parchment!' it seemed that craig himself was a bit surprised by this! he exclaimed, after the jingle, 'oh, i didnt even know we had one of those!', and proceeded with the skit.

the rather late programme

craig ferguson regularly includes a segment where he dresses up as prince charles, complete with comb over wig, big ears, bad false teeth, and a scepter.
craig, as himself, always introduces the skit by saying 'as you know prince charles it the prince fo england, but what you may not know is that he is also the king of late night in england where he has a show called 'the rather late programme', lets take a look!'
then we see craig all dressed up where he does a very lame brief monologue as prince charles, which usually includes some sort of reference to camilla looking like a horse...
'lets ascend to the throne, shall we?' prince charles asks, and has a seat on his throne, with a royal guard standing next to him. he makes a couple jokes, always trying to get the guy playing the guard to laugh. usually it works. he then asks 'do we have time for a royal parchment?', reads it, and we hear the 'sheep of time', so its time to go!
its quite formulaic, but still very funny because most the time pieces of the costume are falling off, or craig improvs in order to get the guard to laugh and laughs himself in the process!


+ he must be feeling like he is a prison camp as he waits for his two weeks off, because craig ferguson starts off the show laying on his desk, dressed in a tank top with dog tags. a light circles around him simulating helicopter blades as he thinks to himself how war is hell, and this show is starting to feel like war.
+ olympic coverage with john tesh
+ simon cowell skit where he is so out of practice since the last american idol that he is unable to be mean to anyone anymore.
> aaron karo (lame)
+ craig ends the show with another nam prisoner bit- i bet he enjoyed his vacation!

drinking time

yet another version of the 'email time' jingle (how many of them can they come up with?!?). this time the musical genre is german polka music! little emails lift a mug of beer and sing their scottish drinking song as little craig figures dance around in their lederhosen outfits.


+ 'my olympic ban still isnt working,' craig ferguson tells us, 'ive been watching three hours every night! i cant play by your rules man. i guess their my rules... you dont know me!' finally craig admits to his love: 'i love the olympics- i cant stay away! i could ride that pommel horse all night!'
- ben kingsley (a taped interview from a couple months ago last time he was on. they must have figured he is in a movie about every month, so they might as well tape two interviews at the same time...)
= idina menzel. talked and sang (shes one of the actresses in 'rent')