+ 'i wanted to talk about the emmys that were on last night, but i cant say s**t on television' craig ferguson shares. he goes on to talk about how bad they were anyway, 'any one who watches this show will know that i know a thing or two about badly made television, but i am an amateur. last night i got to see how the pros make badly made television! i love show business, but thats the worst f***ing thing ive seen in a long time!!! and i know, i was there. i had to present an award at the end with the lovely brooke shields. im waiting and waiting, i go out with brooke and its very nice, and as i walk out on the stage, cause im hating all this show, i realize i hate me now, cause im a part of this! on behalf of show business, im sorry america...'
+ tim meadows with an economic report
- denis leary. he asks an important question: 'when you did that bit where you said your hand was on brooke shields ass, was it really?' craig raises his hand triumphantly and says 'yah baby!'