+ 'today is a very important day', craig ferguson announces, 'it was on this day in 1923, that the republic of turkey was founded, its a big day over there. why am i talking about it? i'll tell you why: bit of a slow news day... i'll tell you why i like turkey, because its the only nation named after an animal. turkey was founded from the remnants of the ottoman empire. the ottoman empire was unstable, it collapsed when people put their feet up on the cushion. i've been to turkey, do you know how i got there? took the gravy boat. i went to the grand bazaar in istanbul and i bought a carpet. turkey is known for their thick plush carpets, unlike brazil...'
# newt gingrich

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