10-04-11

+ 'there's big news in the geeky world', craig ferguson shares, 'its nobel prize week! i know what you are thinking, i know your thinking 'craig, are you going to do a whole week of nobel prize monologues like you did last year?' and to these people i say 'youve been watching this show way too much, and that will learn you for not paying your cable bill!'.' (if you are nerdy enough to actually remember craig's monologues from last year, you can relive them here, here, and here!) 'plus, its already tuesday and i didnt even mention the nobel prize yesterday, so ha ha. today was the nobel prize for physics! now, do you know who won? thats right, you guessed it, mike and molly's melissa maccarthy! it really is her year! no, she didnt win the nobel prize for physics. i'm kind of obsessed with physics, i have one of those little toys where you pull out one ball and it smashes against the other one and they keep going back and forth. i have one with me at all times! whats it called again? oh yes, its my scrotum.'

- jessica lange

* jacques steinberg