10-18-11

+ 'its a great day for the day of alaska', craig ferguson states, 'congratulations alaskonians... its alaska day today! its a big holiday up there, it was on this day in 1867 that the united states bought alaska from the russians. and in about six months from now we will sell it to china... by sheer coincidence, sarah palin's daughter bristol turns 21 today, so happy birthday, bristol! i hope she is careful, now that she's 21 she can drink, and drinking alcohol can sometimes lead to sleeping with people you shouldnt be sleeping with. nah, that would never happen! i'm going to do something very unusual for a late night douche bag, i'm going to defend sarah palin. just a little! a lot of people think that she said 'i can see russia from my house', but she never said that, that was a sketch from saturday night life, that was tina fey, for some reason people thought that it was true. you should never believe stuff you see on tv, trust me... for years i thought dr. phil was a real doctor! and i let him check my prostate!'

- carey mulligan

> paula poundstone