5-11-11

+ 'you know, today in france is the first day of cannes film festival', craig ferguson states, 'most people who live there are gone. they rent out their houses and apartments to the rich people who fly in for the festival. the french have a name for those hollywood types who fly in every year, i'm going to try to pronounce it right for you, its 'le duchebags'. theres a lot of bi movies during the premier of the cannes film festival. this year the festival is opening with the new woody allen movie. in this movie owen wilson's character travels back in time to hang out with salvidor dali. critics are saying that the new woody allen movie is pretty good, its something you can enjoy with maybe your wife or your daughter, or perhaps they are the same person... too soon? too soon yi? mel gibson's new movie is playing in cannes too, its about a middle aged man who's so emotionally damaged that he's only comfortable interacting with a hand puppet. its called the craig ferguson story!'

- tim meadows

= colin hay