5-10-11

+ 'its a tough day for arnold schwarzenegger today', craig ferguson concoles, 'you know, the terminator, the kindergarten cop, the jingle all the way. arnold and maria shriver are splitting after 25 years of marriage. its very sad. today arnold issued a statement saying 'hosta la vista, half of my stuff.' its too bad though, they were married for 25 years though, thats a pretty good run, thats a quarter century. in hollywood being married a quarter century is like being married 200 years in the real world! in the last quarter century while arnold and maria were married, larry king got married 18 times! most of those marriages werent legally binding though. 'you mean i cant marry a pastrami sandwich? but i love it!' i know i've made fun of arnold on this show once or twice... or a thousand times. but i genuinely feel for arnold and maria, they are having a tough time. they originally met at a fund raiser for a museum. maria was a fundraiser and arnold was the neanderthal exhibit... see, now there i go again! i didnt have to say that but i did! people are saying that arnold is now going back into acting. he's getting a bit old for that, isnt he? whats he going to be in? conan the octogenarian? occasional recall? tinkle all the way? now i will admit that i have a soft spot for arnold, maybe its because i liked his movies in the 80's or its because i'm not a teacher in california. if he had laid off thousands of talk show hosts i proably would have thought different.'

- kenneth branagh

* edward conlon