5-03-11

+ 'its a bit of a rough day today for me', craig ferguson confides, 'i went to the doctor today for my annual physical exam. at my age you have to go to the doctor regularly because they keep finding changes to my body. today i just had the typical physical exam, i think you will understand if i do the rest of the show standing up... the physical exam isnt exactly a walk in the park, unless that park is golden gate park during a ricky martin concert, if you know what i'm saying. its not fun getting a physical, i stare at the floor all nervous, i listen to the guy putting on the gloves getting lubed up. i just close my eyes and grit my teeth while he does his business. then i have to go to the doctor! but guys spend a lot of time worrying about that, you know, the old finger probe, the visit through the artist's entrance, the rubber glove love, the uno in your bruno. i'm talking about the prostate exam. as far as exams go, its not that bad. i think of it like an eye exam, its like that, if the chart read 'oh'. the worst is that my doctor used to be an optomitrist so hes always like 'is it better like this or like this' oh, just get on with it! the doctor actually said to day that my blood pressure was a bit high. and i'm thinking 'a bit?' cause i had forgotten that it was my medical today, so i didnt do any fasting and on the way to the doctor i had a coffee in the car, and i had a conversation with my ex-wife on the phone- my blood pressure should have been through the damn roof! high blood pressure can be decieving. its always going to be high when you are nervous about being at the doctors and all that, you should take my blood pressure during something thats not stressful and i dont give a rats ass about. if you took it now i would be fine!'

- geoffrey rush

= ok go