5-08-12

+ 'its a great day to be a teacher' craig ferguson states, 'today is teacher appreciation day.  the first national teacher's day was back in 1953, that was... what?... almost 300 years ago?  the traditional gift for a teacher is an apple.  may i suggest instead cash?  pay all the teachers more, they dont need apples.  pay the teachers more, except the art teachers, they dont need more money because all they want to do is get high on the glue and markers!  if i ran the world, teachers would make whatever they wanted because without teachers we wouldnt have schools. without schools we wouldnt have had the show 'saved by the bell', and without saved by the bell, we wouldnt have mario lopez.  i rest my case.  these days teachers have it rough, kids these days are all hyper active now and disobedient and obnoxious.  it must be like being locked in a room full of drunk midgets, being a teacher.  maybe not as much fun.  i've always appreciated my teachers.  when i was 16 i gave them the greatest gift i could think of: i dropped out of school.  i went back to my high school recently and everything was completely different!  the cafeteria had food that you could actually eat, the nurse didn't use leeches any more, there was no more corporal punishment at all- it was horrendous!  i said to the principle 'how could everything have changed so much?  how a building that, in my day, was associated with chaos and violence, surly drunkenness, had now become a place of learning?'  he said 'well, as soon as you left everything just straightened right up'.'
= steven tyler
- jaime king