9-09-11

+ 'you know what i'm excited about?' craig ferguson asks, 'the new movie contagion. its about a terrible virus, millions are affected, their eyes rolling back in their head, its like a milder version of bieber fever. but i'm excited about this movie because its directed by steven soderburg, he's the guy who made ocean's eleven, which is a great movie. he's also the guy who made ocean's twelve, so it evens out... but, contagion has a lot of stars in it, matt damon's in it, marion cotillard, jude law, gwyneth paltrow, mirna lloyd, fatty arbuckle, everybody is in this movie! this movie has more diseased celebrities than a pool party at the playboy mansion. you know, i've been to that mansion, i've seen that grotto- oh my lord! i thought it was a large turine of soup! you know what makes this movie different? they kill off a lot of stars. now, thats not a spoiler alert because its in the trailers and commercials. in the first ten minutes of contagion gwyneth paltrow dies, but i think thats just a way of getting people to go and see it.'

- alfred molina

- brie larson