5-23-12

+ 'the american idol finale was on earlier tonight!' craig ferguson shares, 'i dont watch it, but you've got to respect it though, its turned out to be the archetype for hundreds of shows.  without american idol there wouldnt be 'the x factor', 'the voice', 'sing sing, ya fat bastard', 'dance, monkey, dance', 'i cant believe its not butter'...  american idol started out in britain, they called it pop idol.  there are now versions all around the world, youve got canadian idol, italian idol, german idol.  well, german idol is just french idol, they just took it... anyway, one of tonights finalists is named phillip phillips.  i think that sounds like lazy parenting to me!  'what name would you like your baby, mrs. phillips?'  'phillip.  what do you want, i just had a fucking baby!'.  congratulations to both of tonights finalists, they are both very talented, of course.  but you dont need to be talented to be on tv.  clearly!  being successful at show business is more about working hard and kissing ass, or working hard at kissing ass.  but i refused to work hard or kiss ass.  and thats how i ended up here in the basement at cbs.  with a robot skeleton.'
- jennifer love hewitt
- rutina wesley