4-13-12

+ 'its not such a great day for north korea', craig ferguson shares, 'yesterday they launched a top secret new missile. it blasted off, went about 90 seconds, and then went 'phhh!'  it blew up, it fell apart faster than a kardashian marrage.  now, the failure has shocked the north korean scientific community.  which is really just a guy in a lap sleeping.  i'm glad i'm not a rocket scientist in north korea today, you'd be almost as scared as the guy at disney who greenlit the john carter movie!  'you know what would be a good movie?'  or would it?  according to the north koreans, the satellite was in no way connected to their nuclear weapons program.  they said it was simply a communications satellite.  it was intended to play patriotic songs for all the north koreans who own satellite radios...  this has actually happened before.  in fact, this is the third time that north korea has tried to launch this exact same missile, and each time it has literally blown up in their faces!  by now the ocean near north korea is full of metal.  its got more useless metal than an album by iron maiden.'
- sean hayes
- lena dunham

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