4-05-12

+ 'its a great day if you wear glasses', criag ferguson announces, 'every nerd in america just went 'what?'  google just announced that they are making something called google glasses.  this is true, they are like regular glasses but they have embedded technology.  neither do i.  they project data on the lenses in front of your eyes.  no way!  and like with any new technology, i have two important questions: 1. how soon can i get them? and b. can i use them for pornography?  nah, i wont get google glasses. call me old fashioned, but i prefer to put two i phones over my eyes while i'm driving and texting.  the google glasses dont have the technology i wont though, they dont have x ray vision- come on google!  i remember ordering the x ray glasses from the back of comic books when i was a kid.  i was very excited, it used to say x ray glasses and these glasses with big swirly things on them and i was so excited.  but they never did what you wanted them to, which is to see naked people.  unless your definition of x ray is having red and white cardboard circles in front of your eyes.  they never worked until i wore them to a strip club!'
- jeffrey dean morgan
- jennifer coolidge