11-15-11

+ 'its a great day if you like to recycle', craig ferguson states, 'today is 'america recycles day', and i'm wondering if we really need this? we've already got earth day. so we have to think about the environment on two days?!? why dont we consolidate the two of them into one day, and while we are at it, get rid of arbor day. nobody gives a crap about arbor day! go on, tell me when it is, you cant! exactly! oh, go on, look it up on your computer! anyway, we have a strict recycling policy. can we see that picture of paul mccartney?' and for the one millionth time, they show a picture of angela lansbury! 'we think of recycling as a recent thing, but its been around for hundreds of years. historians say the first example of recycling was the pilgrims. they realized they could recycle corn cobs and use them as dildos! thats not true, but if it was true, wouldnt it be aw
esome? when you think about recycling you should always think about the three r's: reuse, renew, regis. these days we have separate colored bins for the different recyclable stuff. here in l.a. the green bin is for garden waste, blue bin for paper products, and pink bin for old breast implants. you can! you can recycle used boobies! i'm not just making this up. what they do is they melt down the recycled boobies and they turn them into lip injections and butt implants. and the circle of life continues!'

- ewan mcgregor who is always one of craig's best guests! also, now a winner of the golden mouth organ!