7-14-11

+ 'everybody is going to the movies this weekend', craig ferguson admits, 'thats whats going on. a lot of people are going to see that little out house movie, 'harry potter and the legend of curly's gold', i'm not. i'm going to a different movie. i'm going to a positive uplifting film that has a message for the whole family. and by positive message for the whole family, i mean one where i see my name on the screen and i say to my family 'in your face, bitches! especially you, six month old baby!' anyway, luckily for me, winnie the pooh is out this weekend and i am the voice of owl. if you want a little taste of what it sounds like, here you go, you ready: 'woo'. if you want more, get your ass to the theater because if you dont, this little mom and pop company that made it, called disney, wont be able to make another movie... winnie the pooh, thats what i'm talking about. it can teach children important life lessons. remember kids, if you ever see a bear in the woods, go up to it and try to make friends! offer him some honey! its not true of course, bears are ruthless predators who will pounce on fresh meat with their razor sharp claws. thats why i never wear tight pants when i go on 'the view'. when i first found out i got the gig as the owl i was very happy, i immediately started gluing feathers to my body. then i found out it was an animated movie and i was only doing the voice, but i kept on gluing because i did not want those birds to have died for nothing. its a joke! i didnt kill birds so i could have a costume! owls are awesome anyway, i love them. they've got these tiny little bodies with giant heads and they vomit out these furry little pellets. they're like super models!'
- zooey deschanel she wins the golden mouth organ!

- jim cummings he wins the golden mouth organ too- he even brought his own! what an episode!