3-10-11

+ 'its a great day for billionaires', craig ferguson shares, 'well, its always a great day if you are a billionaire, i would imagine. 'i've got so much money! i'm a billion-fucking-aire!' thats what id say anyway. today forbes magazine came out with their annual list of the worlds richest people. now, theres a spoiler alert coming: i'm not on it. now, the worlds richest person is not bill gates! when bill gates heard the news he froze up, just like windows vista. bill gates is number two on the list. he would be number one if he didnt waste all that money by giving it away to charity. i'm kidding, i'm kidding. i give a lot of money to charity, thats the name of my favorite stripper. the number one richest person in the world is in fact a gentleman named carlos slim. he is a mexican business magnate. he owns telecommunication companies worth 74 billion dollars, which in pesos is like a krintillion or something. yeah, krintillion. google it! anyway, i love the name carlos slim. he's like a james bond villian. like a guy who lives on a converted oil rig and takes a helicopter to go to the bathroom. anyway, the forbes list of billionaires is interesting because a lot of people on the list have made their money from internet companies. i should have put money on the internet, instead i invested all my cash on vhs tapes. its the dumbest thing i did last year.'

No comments: