how to train your dragon
dreamworks animation recently released its latest movie 'how to train your dragon' and one of the actors voicing a character is none other than our very own craig ferguson! he voices the character gobber, one of the older vikings who loves to hunt dragons. he recently gave an interview for the film. check it out here. oh, and dont forget to go and see 'how to train your dragon'!
craig's favorite movies
with craig ferguson coming out with a new movie, he does one of the voices in dreamworks' 'how to train your dragon'. there are a bunch more interviews popping up with him! one of those interviews he gives is with the website rottentomatoes.com. he is asked what are his five favorite movies, and his answers are quite different then what people usually say! craig is certainly not a snobby movie geek! check out his choices here. and while you are at it, go see the movie!
3-23-10
+ 'i've got to be honest with you, i'll have to tell you the truth', craig ferguson admits, 'i know this is going to cause some trouble for me, but i dont like pigeons. 'you dont like pigeons?' no, i dont. i dont like birds at all. maybe it was because of that scary movie about birds. what was is called again? march of the penguins. i was frightened! they are only pretending they cant fly, they are just waiting for the right moment to attack. when birds are not attacking, all they do is tweet and poop. course, thanks to the twitter, its all i do now too. i admit, i used to like birds. when i was younger i had a cockatoo. i used relax by petting a cockatoo... actually i had budgies. its a type of bird, very popular in the old country, very similar to parakeets, but slightly smaller and they speak with a british accent. 'i say, polly would very much like a cracker. perhaps some tea would be nice too.' we had a lot of budgies in our house but for some reason they were all named joey. and much like the sitcom 'joey', none of them lived past a month! they come in two colors, either green or blue. we only ever had green budgies, we were a green budgie family. my mother used to say that families with blue budgies were snobs. 'aw, look at them with their blue budgies and their roof!' and when ever one of our budgies would die my mother would replace it with one that looked kind of similar and thought no one would notice. i would ask 'mom, is that a new budgie?' 'of course not, now shut up and eat your small chicken!'. '
+ craig's spanish word of the day: seguro- insurance!
+ regis comes out early to join craig in answering the tweets and emails.
= regis and joy philbin sing
3-22-10
+ 'now the story, of course, today that everybody is talking about is the big story', craig ferguson begins, 'is the health care reform bill. zzzz. yeah what? what does it even mean? if you listen to the left it means free vegan candy for every single man, woman, and unicorn in america. and if you listen to the right it means that we have been enslaved by socialist overlords and apple pie is now illegal... i dont listen to either side, i'm too busy listening to lady gaga! all i know is this is still america and i can still own a gun and say whatever i want and nobody can make me wear pants, so i'm still good.'
+ criag's spanish word of the day: parrilla- grill!
3-12-10
+ 'there have been a lot of movies about weddings', criag ferguson rambles, 'i usually avoid them, to be honest. i avoid any movie about weddings, diseases, or sexy vampires with six pack abs. i dont like the wedding movies. i've actually been married more times than i've seen wedding movies. true! weddings are a bit like porn: its more fun to participate in than watch, you know what i mean? not true, not true. one costs a fortune and ends up being a beautiful thing, and the other is a wedding... craig! you cynical bastard! what i'm saying though is that a lot of people put too much importance on their wedding ceremony, they say 'this will be the best day of my life!' well, it might be, but there might be other days or other moments that might be better. birth of a child, or something else entirely. i know this actor who is a real golf fanatic and one day he got to play golf with sean connery who is famously also a golf fanatic. one day they are playing golf and this actor guy i know gets a hole in one! and he was ecstatic! he was like 'oh yeah! this is the best day of my life, apart from the day my kid was born, of course.' and sean connery said 'oh, come now. you are amongst friends...'.'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: gravedad- gravity!
# mike massimino astronaut
3-11-10
+ 'its romeo and juliets anniversary today' craig ferguson shares, 'thats true! shakespeares star crossed lovers. on this day in 1302 was the day that romeo and juliet got married. allegedly. its hard to prove because they actually never existed. but in the play it was this day in 1302. it was based on two real life lovers, romeo and juliet, in 1302. now that is true, they are still registered at pottery barn. shakespeare changed their last names, he called them juliet capulet and romeo henderson. and over the years the name romeo has become synonymous with romance, which i never understood because the character of romeo is an italian teenager who has never had sex with anyone! he's like an italian jonas brother! 'hey, whas a come and a go? hey, i got a tootsie fruitsie purity ring, itsa ok!' thats how italians talked in 1302. and shakespeare described juliet, he said of her 'she doth teach the torches to burn bright', which translated to 'break me off a piece of that!'.'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: gafas- glasses!
+ eddie izzard comes out and throws a chair and a table. not sure why, but its quite funny!= ryan bingham plays his oscar winning song 'the weary kind (theme from crazy heart)'
3-10-10
+ 'some websites today are saying that the obama administration may ban fishing in rivers and lakes', craig ferguson shares, 'the administration says that they are just protecting nature, others see it as an evil conspiracy to take away our freedoms. now, i'm with both sides here. on one hand it makes sense to protect... on the other hand i dont like it... craig, are you trying to not take a position on this? dont even ask me! the new fishing rules havent been announced yet, and i dont know who to believe. on fox news they are saying 'obama wages jihad against fishing!' and on npr they are saying 'obama protects aquatic unicorns!' but i know one thing for sure, no regulations will stop americans from fishing! you can have my rod when you take it from my cold dead hands!'
3-09-10
+ craig ferguson shares the latest chameleon scientific findings, turns out they have weather proof tongues! 'anyway, i was talking about chameleons. if you dont know what a chameleon is, its basically a pimped out lizard. it kind of is really. 'pimp my lizard', incidentally, is a tv show i pitched to mtv. but a chameleon is a lizard that constantly changes its appearance. it is the lizard world's lady gaga. i wish i could do that with shoes and a bag!'
+ an update on the robot skeleton sidekick grant imahara is making for craig
- adhir kalyan from 'rules of engagement'
3-08-10
+ 'the oldest person in america just passed away. mary josephine ray' craig ferguson says, which the crowd 'aww's to, 'well, she was 114, so... she died peacefully in her home state of new hampshire. anyway, we've got a new oldest person in america. coming in at 113 years old: larry king. its not true, age means nothing to larry king, he made a deal with satan to live forever! now, in mary josephine ray's lifetime she saw many great inventions: the airplane, the automobile, the snuggy, the shamwow. 114 isnt as old as it used to be, its the new 104. dont people always say that, 30 is the new 20? well, people who are getting older always say that. 30 is the new 20, 50 is the new 40. its crap! i'm 47 and it aint the new anything! the only thing new is the aching of my back and the sagging of my testicles! abraham lincoln said 'in the end, its not the years in your life that count, its the life in your years'. and right after that he said 'hey, who wants to go see a play?' too soon?'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: pistola- gun!
3-05-10
+ 'i'm very excited about alice in wonderland coming out this weekend', shares craig ferguson, 'now, alice in wonderland was writen in 1865 by lewis carol. now, that was his pen name, his real name was charles dodson. a lot of people use fake names when they write a book. i've written a couple books, i considered putting a different name on the cover to help sales. i was going to call myself 'free coupons'.
+ criag's spanish word of the day: vaquero- cowboy!
-> paula deen
3-04-10
+ 'it is, however, not a great day for the family values california state senator roy ashburn', craig ferguson shares, 'i dont know if you know about this, he was pulled over for a DUI last night, there was another man in the car. it turns out the senator and the 'mystery man' were drinking in a gay nightclub. all i have to say is thank you senator ashburn, because up until now it has been a slow news week, so thank you very much! if you are unfamiliar with senator ashburn, he voted against every single gay rights measure since taking office. now, personally, as you can probably tell, i support gay people. as a show of solidarity, i get my hair cut like an old lesbian.'
3-03-10
+ 'it was on this day in 1847 the telephone was invented by alexander graham bell', craig ferguson informs us, 'no, thats not true. he was born on this day in 1847. no, he probably invented it a couple weeks after that... now, thats quite a feat what he did, how many other people invented something you cant live without? i never leave the house without three things: my phone, my keys, and my emerancy ball vacuum cleaner. because you never know when you are going to need the proper amount of suction. you know that people say, when alexander graham bell invented the telephone, his first words were 'come here, watson, i want you'. watson was graham bell's friend and, this is what he called him, his 'tinkering partner'. i think that when the tabloids caught them in the nineteenth century they called them 'tinkerbell'. i always wondered about this watson guy, that he knew how to answer the first telephone. if you had never heard a telephone before and this strange thing starts ringing, would you know what to do? i doubt it smartypants, i dont think you would! what should i do? this strange box is ringing, i'll pick it up and put it to my ear and do what it tells me!'
- micheal sheen joins craig for the emails, and stays the rest of the show
- amy ryan
check the tweets
a new twitter and email jingle! the theme for craig ferguson's twitter songs is always littered with robot skeletons, and this one is no exception. again, it has a very david bowie feel to it, it even features a triceratops with lazer eyes! it cant get much better than that! usually after the song craig complains about how stupid the song is, but this time he said 'thats ah... thats pretty good actually! thats going to look out of place with the rest of the show, isnt it?'
3-02-10
+ 'i am a bit cranky tonight, arent i?' craig ferguson admits, 'i dont know what it is. i should just dance, dance away my blues. it wouldnt be that hard, this floor is from dancing with the stars. they gave us this floor after it was all danced out, the gave it to us. when this is polished you can see up people's clothing. all i need is a guest out here and a skirt with no underwear- jeff goldblum perhaps. do you know what? maybe that's why i'm depressed. everything from this show is a hand-me-down. the floors are from dancing with the stars. this suit is an old bob barker suit, i can still smell the moth ball on it. and then there's the brooms we use to sweep up around here are made from the trimmings of andy rooney's eyebrows. i'm like cinderella! i've said it before, i'm a terrible dancer. they say that you should dance like nobody's watching. its from the expression 'work like you dont need the money, love like youve never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching'. well, i dance like i've been hurt, i work when nobody's watching, and i love like i need the money!'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: flaco- skinny!
+ steven wright drops in to help read the emails and tweets- mitch albom recently returned from haiti
robot skeleton sidekick update!
going back to when craig ferguson first joined twitter, he decided to call his twitter followers his 'robot skeleton army'. this gave craig a great idea: what if he had a robot skeleton sidekick! well, he has been plotting and planing trying to make this happen.
turns out, he's actually going to make it happen!
craig made a deal with grant imahara, from mythbusters, to build him a robot skeleton sidekick! it will be unveiled on april 5. be sure to stay tuned to get your first look at geoff peterson (thats the name craig has given his robot skeleton sidekick...)
turns out, he's actually going to make it happen!
craig made a deal with grant imahara, from mythbusters, to build him a robot skeleton sidekick! it will be unveiled on april 5. be sure to stay tuned to get your first look at geoff peterson (thats the name craig has given his robot skeleton sidekick...)
3-01-10
+ wavey the crocadillio is back and so is his girlfriend nadine!
+ 'its a great day for me,' craig ferguson admits, 'i've had the best weekend i've had in... well, i had a good weekend! i went to two major american cities this weekend, two fantastic teaming metropolises, i was in thackerville oklahoma, and then austin texas. which is texas for liberals! its like 'yee haa' in prius's! i was in thackerville first, and if you dont know thackerville, and who amongst us doesnt? but its on the boarder of texas and oklahoma. i like oklahoma, its very flat. like holland, with guns. now, i've been to thackerville before, they have a casino there, an indian casino. its actually quite sad because before the white man came it was all casinos! hmm, i think i got into a bit of trouble there, but we will keep going, it will be alright... so i was going to thackerville and they have this big casino, its giant, its enormous this thing. and the last time i was there there was nothing there, it was like a couple of trailer and a piggly wiggly. i flew in to gainsville and was driven to the casino by a guy who works there, his name was freddie i think, and freddie was local. i turned into the casino, i had never seen this, its like europe- it has big ben, the roman colosseum. its like europe has been condensed into this small oklahoma town! i said to the driver 'what on earth is that, freddie?' and he said 'thats a facade'. and i was like 'you mean like my confidence?', and he said 'no, like your sexuality'. they are not stupid out there, they are fast!'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: jefe- boss!
- simon helberg from the big bang theory!
2-26-10
+ 'it was on this day, in 1852, john kellogg was born,' craig ferguson shares, 'now who, i hear you ask, is john kellogg? he is the father of the breakfast cereal. no no, its true. he was the first guy to patent dry cereal. wet cereal had been around for years before that, but they made all the boxes soggy and nasty. like me in the 1980's... but he thought 'lets have a dry cereal, we will add the milk later!' it was a burst of genius that had never been seen before. he wasnt just a cereal maker, kellogg, he was a well respected doctor. he actually ran a sanitarium in michigan. he used to treat something called 'genital hysteria'. i think i might have had that! if genital hysteria is when someone points at your genitals and laughs hysterically then i've had that...'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: homenahe- homage!
2-25-10
+ 'it is a great day for washington DC,' craig ferguson states, 'its always exciting in our nation's capitol, but this week has been especially exciting. its times like this i wished i lived there. this week in DC there has been the consensus development conference on lactose intolerance. i know! its a real conference. take that, vancouver, you canadian jerks, all you've got are the winter olympics, we've got a conference on lactose intolerance! doctors and scientists from all around the world coming to DC to learn about lactose intolerance. lactose intolerance, if you dont know, is part of the dangerous triple threat to american life: restless leg syndrome, and then the other thing thats really dangerous is whatever is treated with that 'head-on' stuff! i'm glad though, its about time there was a conference devoted to lactose intolerance. but its not as big as last years conference: poop con! 'come on down to poop con, we are making quite a splash!'.'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: osqueroso- disgusting!
+ eddie izzard helps craig answer emails and tweets.
2-24-10
+ 'its a great day for the twitter', craig ferguson shares, 'the folks at twitter. i dont know if there are folks at twitter. i dont think there is a place where they all 'lets get these twitters moved along'. anyway, there is a new member of twitter, a very important one: the dali llama joined twitter! i dont know why, i think he just did it to piss off china. its like he is ellen degeneres, and china is simon cowell! now i realize that some of you people dont know what the twitter is, and until two weeks a go, i was just like you. i didnt know what twitter was. when i overheard people talking about twitter, i thought 'finally, my favorite game twister is making a comeback!'. twitter and twister are very different, because in twitter no one gets mad at me for being naked. basically, twitter is an online service that allows you to share what you are thinking with all of your friends. and i hear you ask 'but craig, how is that different from other social networking sites like facetubes, or my tubes?', or my favorite kissablemen.com. i dont know, i dont know what makes it different. look at me, i could be someone's grandpa. i dont know how twitter works. i'm still trying to figure out how the little elves make music come out of my ipod. all i know is that the twitter is very popular with the young people and me. sometimes i'll be at home and i'll pick up my cell phone and i start typing away. instantly it makes me feel twenty years younger. then i put on my glasses and realize i've been typing on my tv remote...'
+ craig's spanish word of the day: fracaso- failure!
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